With Teemu resigned to a $3.25M+bonuses for the 2010-2011 season, it’s pretty much a lock that he’ll be Cap’n Flash, but some fans are making alternative rumblings – some fairly logical (Getzlaf), some interesting (Saku Koivu) and some downright bizarre (Lubomir Vishnovsky).

Therefore, in the interest of argument, I hereby present you with my reasons why the only choice we have is that of Selanne.

Ryan Getzlaf: He’s got the chops, the experience and the presence, but is viewed as too much of a hothead.  Remember the disaster that was known as Captain Pronger?  We don’t need a repeat performance.

Saku Koivu: He’s always had Teemu’s back and his instincts are impeccable, but the general consensus is that his tenure has been rather too brief and he lacks presence.

George Parros: We all know the guys would follow Georgie once more unto the breach without question, but he’s always been the type of player who knows his place, knows his job and sticks to it.  I can imagine the guys asking him, “Hey George, what should we do in this situation?”  George: “Uhm, play hockey…?”

Corey Perry: Now, he’s rather more difficult to rationalize out of the running.  He’s just one of those guys that seems to run under everyone’s radar for some reason.  Which is weird considering he played all 82 games last season, won gold in the Olympics, and at 6’2, 202lbs, ain’t no tiny tadpole.  Maybe if he grew a mustache too…

Bobby Ryan: Another guy that’s hard to count out…oh, wait, you actually have be SIGNED TO THE TEAM in order to be considered for the Captaincy!!!